You’ve probably noticed something strange about how you remember things. Maybe you went on vacation where everything went wrong—flights delayed, rain every day, and food poisoning. Yet, months later, when someone asks you about it, you rave about the sunset on the last night and how it was “actually a great trip.” Sound familiar? It’s not because your brain is bad at keeping records. It’s because your brain has a few quirky ways of remembering experiences. And it all comes down to some simple, sneaky rules.

The Peak-End Rule

Let’s start with the most famous one: the Peak-End Rule. Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Barbara Fredrickson gave us this little gem. Here’s how it works: we tend to remember an experience based on two moments—the peak (the most intense point, whether positive or negative) and the end. That’s it. We basically ignore everything in between. So, even if your vacation was mostly a disaster, if the peak was awesome and the end was sweet, that’s what your brain clings to.

Imagine this: You’re at a concert, and for the first half, you’re stuck behind the world’s tallest person, who insists on waving their arms like they’re guiding planes. But then—your favorite song comes on, and suddenly you’re front and center, having the time of your life. Then the encore is even better. You leave buzzing with excitement, totally forgetting about that 45 minutes of human windmill action. That’s the Peak-End Rule in action.

Duration Neglect

Next up, we’ve got Duration Neglect. This is another handy little quirk. Basically, your brain doesn’t care how long the experience was. It doesn’t matter if the concert was three hours or one hour, or if the vacation was two weeks or five days. You won’t remember the length; you’ll just remember how it felt at the best (or worst) moments and how it ended.

This is why a short but amazing dinner date can feel more memorable than a long, drawn-out vacation. It’s not about the time spent; it’s about how intense the experience was at key moments.

Memory and Emotion

We also need to talk about how emotions play into this. Research shows that experiences linked to strong emotions—good or bad—are much more memorable than neutral ones. This is why we can remember that one incredibly awkward moment from a date 10 years ago (yeah, you know the one), but we struggle to recall the dozens of perfectly fine, pleasant-but-uneventful nights out since then. The more emotional, the more sticky.

This means that if you want someone to remember an experience—whether it’s a trip, a product launch, or a dinner party—you’ve got to hit them in the feels. Emotions create mental bookmarks, making it easier for us to recall those moments later.

The Serial Position Effect

Now, let’s sprinkle in the Serial Position Effect. This theory says that we remember the first and last things we experience more than the stuff in the middle. Sound familiar? Yep, it pairs nicely with the Peak-End Rule. The start of an experience is crucial because it sets expectations and hooks us in, while the end wraps things up in a way that sticks.

So, if you’re designing an experience—say, a customer journey on your website—you need to nail the start and the finish. People won’t remember that perfectly serviceable but slightly boring middle section, but they will remember the amazing opening and the satisfying checkout process.

The Contrast Effect

Finally, we have the Contrast Effect. This one’s all about context. We tend to judge an experience not in isolation, but in comparison to what came before. Let’s say you’re on a road trip, and for most of the day, you’re driving through boring, flat landscapes. Suddenly, you round a corner, and there’s a breathtaking view of the mountains. That view feels extra amazing because of the dullness you just left behind.

The Contrast Effect is why, after dealing with a string of frustrating customer service reps, that one person who actually helps you feels like a hero. It’s the emotional whiplash that makes good experiences stand out even more.

Why This Matters for Experience Design

So, what does all this mean for how we create experiences, whether they’re digital, physical, or something in between? Well, it means that the way people remember your experience isn’t based on a checklist of every little thing they went through. Nope. They’re going to remember:

• The peak moment, where things felt the most intense (good or bad).
• The end—how it wrapped up.
• The emotional impact—if you made them feel something.
• The start, because first impressions matter.
• The contrast between the dull and exciting bits.

The Takeaway

When you’re designing any experience—whether it’s a product launch, a festival, or just your friend’s surprise birthday party—keep these memory quirks in mind. Focus on creating a killer peak, a satisfying ending, and don’t worry too much about the length or every little detail in between. Because, honestly? People won’t remember it all. Just the good stuff. Or the bad stuff. And most importantly, how it all ended.

So yeah, next time you're planning something, make sure to hit those high notes. Because that’s what people are going to carry with them.

4o